YAKISORTA

WHY HELLO THERE

We've been gone a long while for a number of reasons but WHO CARES, we're back now! 

Our first recipe to get your tastebuds tingling (not sure if this is in a good way at all...) is our version of a popular dish entitled 'Yaki Soba'. You can find Yaki Soba in Wagamama but why would you wanna go to Wagamama and ~sit next to people you don't know~ when you can just make a low rent version of it yourself at home. However, since it's not *quite* the same, just sorta the same, it's Yakisorta.

ABSENCE EXCUSES

Happy 2014 and HUGE apologies for my extended absence, there's simply no excuse! All I can really say about it is that I've been super busy working on other projects and basically too poor to cook. That's right, too poor to even skank cook. Nevertheless, I've got a couple of recipes lined up for your consumption, so expect some posts in the coming days. 

Contrary to skank philosophy, I ate out at a fancy pants restaurant and wrote a review on it on my sister blog. Have a clicky click here and see what I thought about it. General good vibes all round. 

Any old who, I'm posting this as an apology and a prelude to the updates I've got in store for ya. 

Live skank, die gross. XO

Tarts.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! 

Today we're going to stick to Christmas tradition and make a seasonal fave, jam tarts. The main reason I make them is because they're called tarts and are so named after me, and secondly because they're so notoriously easy yet I manage to screw them up every time. They still taste fackin lush though.
 

To begin with you'll need to go out and buy some Jus-Rol because you don't have the technical skills required to make pastry from scratch. You'll also need wine for sipping, flour, jam and a cutter. You can choose the cutter shape, I recommend standard 'round with scallop edge' because I'm like clearly all about conforming. You don't need angel cake but it'd be stupid to turn it down. 

Start off by dusting flour on your (clean) worktop and rolling your pre-rolled pastry out. I'm pretty sure this is what I did to make mine go monumentally wrong (spoiler alert, scroll down for proof). Maybe don't roll it out again, it's up to you. 

A left over toasty wonder.

So, if you're about to go home for Christmas and you need to eat up everything in your fridge because let's face it, you can't abide waste, this is the perf dish to make. One of the ingredients is a little elaborate for a skank kitchen post but you'll understand why it's been included. You'll probably need to go and top the gas card up before you really get started because it's Christmas and times are hard. 

Basic bitchez.

So to honour all of the basic bitches in our lives, and all of the shade they throw our way, we decided to cook an entirely beige meal. Beige bitches are basic bitches. 
 

Here's how it went down. First we bought all this shit. 

 

This genuinely says it all. This is how I live.

HOW TO MAKE: FLUFFYRUFFS

For those of you who are well educated in the game of alternative names for food, you won't need telling what I'm about to guide you into (think Brian Butterfield and Herp-Derp). For those of you less acquainted with such, I suggest that you get on to google sharpish. 

So as promised, I'm going to feebly but with best intentions to provide a step-by-step guide for another recipe. This one's got pictures, you lucky buggers. 

Here's what you'll need.