So, if you're about to go home for Christmas and you need to eat up everything in your fridge because let's face it, you can't abide waste, this is the perf dish to make. One of the ingredients is a little elaborate for a skank kitchen post but you'll understand why it's been included. You'll probably need to go and top the gas card up before you really get started because it's Christmas and times are hard.
So, the token things you'll probably have in your fridge and will want to use up are eggs, milk and cheese, and no doubt you'll have slightly stale bread that's sorta littered with green fuzz so you'll be contemplating throwing that out without even thinking about eating it.
Once you've got all that it's probably a good idea to double check the dustbin cause you were sure that there was a pack of chorizo somewhere and it had a few slices left...
Have you checked? Yeah? Found it? Good.
SO get a big ole frying pan together and shove it on the stove. Turn the grill on and pick the mould off the left over bread. Good as new!
Crack 6 eggs into a jug, cause your housemates will certainly never turn down free eggs. Add a splash of milk (stick the kettle on and cook yourself a brew while you're at it to use up the rest), salt and pepper and go mental with a fork on it cause no doubt you haven't got a whisk (I haven't).
Once it's all mixed up and is resembling a yellow phlegmy mess rather than eggs, put a bit of oil in your frying pan and make it all hot so it spreads out all over the place.
Shove your bread under the grill or in the toaster if you wanna be pedantic. I put mine under the grill cause I'm not a selfish shellfish and I made it for more than one person.
Pour the eggy mixture into the frying pan and get a spatula or a plastic spoon or some shit that ain't metal and stir it while it cooks. Don't forget to flip your toast you twat.
Keep stirring the eggs so they start to scramble and don't make a shitty omelette. Cook them till they go rubbery cause my mum doesn't cook them for long enough and one of my most haunting Christmas memories is being presented with billinis of salmon and sloppy egg on Christmas morning. Mumma I love you, but you gotta cook em for longer.
Your toast should be done now so rescue it before it burns, butter it and cut it into little squares. Take a sip of tea cause you've earnt it. Chop up your chorizo and shove everything into the frying pan. Keep cooking it to make it super healthy (sarcasm, just to be clear).
You're gonna want the toast to start to fry a bit, and everything to be crazy hot to reflect the current state of your pre-Christmas body.
Add another grind of pepper cause grinding is fun and a pinch of salt just cause of reasons and then stick it in a bowl cause it stays hotter that way cause your house is probably an icy cave of death like mine and also it's like totes more fun to eat from a bowl.
Fuck yeah, eggy wonderland. If you sacrifice the chorizo I highly recommend adding a thin layer of marmite before cutting up your toast to make tiny toasty mosaics.
Happy Christmas you filthy dogs.
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